We got a new pet!

Back in the fall, we had promised The Climber a fish for Christmas if he kept being a good boy. Then come Christmas, we forgot... and shockingly, so did The Climber! Until last Thursday that is, when he suddenly remembered and got really upset. A promise is a promise after all, so off to the pet store we went! He was allowed to pick out any fish he wanted, provided it was a betta. Behold!

I formally present the newest addition to our family- Blue Blue You! You can guess who named him, and yes he is, in fact, blue. But I'm really in no position to make fun of The Climber's pet naming skills, because when I was little I had a parakeet named Parakeet. It must be hereditary!

The Ultimate Blog Party 2013!!

I'm relatively new to the whole blog-o-sphere thing, so I was really excited to find out about the 2013 Ultimate Blog Party over at 5 Minutes for Mom. As a SAH parent who was once a lawyer, it's really easy to go a little stir crazy staying at home with a 3.5 year old all day long!

So here we go. My name is Lauren, and I used to be a lawyer (sort of) before quitting my job in 2011 to stay at home with my son, The Climber. I started this blog as a way of keeping my sanity, using my brain for something other than configuring Thomas train track layouts, and connecting with other parents who also may be just a little bit lonely while at home with their kids. I had originally intended this blog to talk about non-child related things as well, and with any luck I'll get to that eventually. So far, it seems I've become the stereotypical parent who writes about nothing but parenting. Hopefully, my blog will at least provide you with a laugh, even if it's just a chuckle of commiseration! So come on in and say hello, and if you want to leave a link to your blog as well, feel free. I'm always looking for new blogs to read in the moments that I'm not playing Legos and trains!

I have become a cliche...

I swore I'd never let my kid watch TV, and now it's on for hours each day. I've licked my finger to wipe crud off my kid's face. My sleeve/hair/face has been used as a tissue. I don't always get to shower. I can't pee or poop with the door closed. I continue to listen to the Phineas and Ferb soundtrack even when my kid is no longer in the car. I see Thomas train track layouts when I close my eyes. I'm the freaking room parent for my kid's class. I buy all these crafts for The Climber but usually only end up doing about half of them. I swore I'd never take him to McDonald's, but it's now his favorite restaurant. I've judged other moms for something, as I'm sure I've been judged. I've been that parent in Target with the crying child. I have a "Mommy Blog". My house often looks like a Toys R Us exploded inside it. I've taken my kid on "playdates". I've been known to sanitize the communal trains at Barnes and Noble with wipes before The Climber touches them. I have "mom jeans" (though I try not to wear them outside). I feel like a horrible parent when I have to bring The Climber out in public with any visible (if self-inflicted) injury. My clothes usually have something spilled on them by the end of the day. Glitter is a banned substance in my house. I still check on The Climber before bed to make sure he's still breathing.

The list goes on and on.

I have become a cliche. But you know what? That's alright. Because I wouldn't have it any other way.

Toddler Rules to Live By

I know this has been done before, but I have a few more rules to add to the various lists already circling the internet.


Toddler Rules to Live By
 
1) I will not walk, but run (or bounce) everywhere we go. Unless we are in a rush or late, in which case I will walk as slowly as possible, making sure to examine everything I pass in excruciating detail.

2) I will never want to willingly use the potty. Except at bedtime once the whole bedtime routine has been completed and Mommy/Daddy is about to walk out the door.

3) I will always answer every question with "NO" and it is up to my parents to figure out when I really mean "yes" but say "no" anyway. And I will have a tantrum if they have trouble distinguishing between the two.

4) The middle of the floor and/or where people frequently walk is the best place to set up Legos, trains, blocks, etc. My creations are not to be moved. Ever.

5) I will never love the same food two days in a row. Except for Happy Meals. Good luck planning dinner.

6) I will always say "Mommy" (or "Daddy") 15 times in a row before getting to what I actually want to tell you.

7) When I say I have to tell you something, it's really important. I swear I'm not just stalling.

8) I will constantly surprise you with things you didn't know I knew how to do. Like using the key to open the front door and escape outside, or turning on Daddy's laptop and watching Thomas movies on You Tube.

9) Pants are optional. So is underwear. Actually, let's just make that all clothes in general.

10) Anything that I give you (random rocks, interesting sticks, this calcified piece of dog poop I just found) is a priceless treasure that you must keep forever.

In the Christmas Mood!

Wow, two posts in one week. I'm on a roll!

The Climber has been much more excited for Christmas this year than he has been in years past. I don't know if it's because he's 3 now and understands a little better about the holidays, or the fact that I was actually on the ball this year and got all the decorations up really early, but he can't wait. Every morning, he bounces into our room and asks us if Santa came, and he handles it surprisingly well when we tell him that Christmas hasn't come yet! So in order to compound his Christmas joy, we've been doing a lot of holiday baking and crafts these last few weeks. Today, we made a gingerbread house! Voila!

Of course, I use the term "we" lightly. As happy as The Climber was to be making it, he was much happier to eat all the candy the kit came with while Mommy did the grunt work. Let me tell you, putting that thing together was much harder than I had anticipated! Thankfully, I had an extra bag of M&Ms lying around the house to decorate it. We'll see if the thing is still together when we wake up tomorrow!

Earlier this week, we made Reindeer Snickerdoodles. Super easy to do. Just make snickerdoodles and then pinch the bottom of the dough ball and smash it flat with your hand before baking to make the reindeer head shape. Once it's out of the oven, add mini chocolate covered pretzels (or regular pretzels, your pick) for the antlers and M&Ms for the eyes and nose and you're done. Behold!

My apologies for the poor picture quality of my crappy cell phone. Happy Holidays everyone!

*My heart and prayers go out to all of the victims and their families in Sandy Hook, CT. May those little children and their teachers rest in peace, and may their families begin to heal as they grieve over senseless tragedy. 

What's with all the Santa Haters?

I've come across a new aspect of the "Mommy Wars" this year: moms who do the whole "Santa thing" and moms who think letting their kids believe in Santa and Christmas magic is akin to letting them worship the devil. I really don't understand the hatred. I can maybe see the whole "I don't want to lie to my kids, and Christmas is really supposed to be about Jesus" argument, because that is true. Christmas is really about the birth of Jesus (if you are Christian) and our kids probably shouldn't be so fixated on the commercial and material aspects of the holiday season, i.e. PRESENTS! But to kill Santa all together? Why?  What's the harm in letting your child have this small joy and sense of wonder? Taking that away from them just seems mean.

I think my main problem with the moms in the anti-Santa camp is almost every single one of them is so sanctimonious about it, as if everyone else is a horrible parent for perpetuating the myth, and our children are going to grow up so spoiled and scarred because we "lied" to them. Oh please. I grew up believing in Santa, and I believed for a lot longer than most kids probably would have, mostly because my parents were very creative in their "lies". When I figured out the truth, did I have a mental breakdown? No, because I realized, even as a kid, that my belief in Santa enriched the holiday season for me. In fact, I can't think of a single person I know who was "scarred" when they found out the truth. And my parents still label some of my gifts as being from Santa, even though the jig is up and I'm in my thirties, simply because its FUN. After all, isn't that what childhood is supposed to be about?

Our children are going to grow up fast enough, and will learn all too soon how harsh the real world can be. To take Santa away, in my opinion, is just cruel. What's next, telling our kids that they can't really grow up to be a princess or a knight? That their imaginary friend is just made up? That they are not really playing with a sword, it's just an empty roll of wrapping paper? And I highly doubt that these Santa is Satan sanctimommies  have never EVER lied to their kids. We've all used the old "sorry honey, the toy store is closed today" fib at least once in our lives!

What's your take on Santa?

The Toddler Mantra: I Want to Do It Myself!

The Climber wants to do everything himself. The start of this phase coincided almost exactly with this third birthday. Sometimes, this works in my favor. Like when he wants to go potty by himself, feed himself, or play trains by himself. Other times, it's my worst nightmare. Case in point- our last trip to the supermarket.

The Climber and I stopped in to the supermarket for just a handful of things. Thinking we didn't need the burden of a big cart (and of trying to keep The Climber in it), I just grabbed a basket. That's when it started.

"I want to carry the basket! I've got big muscles!" says The Climber. Since it's empty and since we are only getting a few things, I relent and let him carry the basket. But of course as we go around the store I inevitably start remembering a few other things we need, and the basket starts to get heavier. It reaches the point where The Climber is no longer carrying it, but is instead pushing it on the floor with both hands.

As cute as this looks, it's taking much too long and we are in a rush. So when I add the half gallon of milk, I decide that's enough.

"Here honey, let Mommy carry the basket, it's getting too heavy," I say.

"NOOOOOOOOOO! I WANT TO CARRY IT. I HAVE BIG MUSCLES! I'M BIG AND STRONG!!!!!"

There is no way he can carry it. The basket is heavy even for me. I pick it up and try my best to calm him down, because he is now crying and approaching full on tantrum mode. The Climber has never had a public tantrum before (how I've escaped this, I have no idea), but he seems hell bent on having his first one right now.

After getting tired of dragging his crying butt down the aisle, I give in.

"Fine. If you can pick it up, you can carry the basket."

The tears magically cease and a look of sheer joy crosses his face! Beaming, he attempts to pick up the basket. Several times in fact. And then he says:

"Mommy, can you carry it? It's too heavy."

For some reason, "I told you so" didn't bring me any comfort.