Friday, February 8, 2013

Toddler Rules to Live By

I know this has been done before, but I have a few more rules to add to the various lists already circling the internet.

Toddler Rules to Live By
1) I will not walk, but run (or bounce) everywhere we go. Unless we are in a rush or late, in which case I will walk as slowly as possible, making sure to examine everything I pass in excruciating detail.

2) I will never want to willingly use the potty. Except at bedtime once the whole bedtime routine has been completed and Mommy/Daddy is about to walk out the door.

3) I will always answer every question with "NO" and it is up to my parents to figure out when I really mean "yes" but say "no" anyway. And I will have a tantrum if they have trouble distinguishing between the two.

4) The middle of the floor and/or where people frequently walk is the best place to set up Legos, trains, blocks, etc. My creations are not to be moved. Ever.

5) I will never love the same food two days in a row. Except for Happy Meals. Good luck planning dinner.

6) I will always say "Mommy" (or "Daddy") 15 times in a row before getting to what I actually want to tell you.

7) When I say I have to tell you something, it's really important. I swear I'm not just stalling.

8) I will constantly surprise you with things you didn't know I knew how to do. Like using the key to open the front door and escape outside, or turning on Daddy's laptop and watching Thomas movies on You Tube.

9) Pants are optional. So is underwear. Actually, let's just make that all clothes in general.

10) Anything that I give you (random rocks, interesting sticks, this calcified piece of dog poop I just found) is a priceless treasure that you must keep forever.